Monday...Is it time to go home yet?

Mondays suck.

Mondays make it hard for one to truly enjoy a weekend away from work, because all you can think about on Sunday is "fuck. I have to go to work tomorrow."

It isn't that bad a thing if you are employed somewhere that you actually like. But if you work somewhere that has a strained, tense atmosphere, it is all bad. Which brings me to this statement. I HATE THIS FUCKING JOB. What? Why don't I quit you ask? Well there are these little things called bills that are keeping me here. I could collect unemployment, but that isn't enough for me to survive on. I have been job hunting my ass off so, it is just a matter of time before I find something else I am sure. I have to keep a positive outlook, or I am going to be miserable. But it is interesting to me how my whole demeanor changes once I step into the lobby of this building. It is like a dark cloud looming over me until I leave here, and then the sun comes out again...

My boss is a BITCH. She seems like she is the type of person that has to tear others down to make herself look better. She always has a catty remark to say to me, and I don't know where it stems from. I make it a point not to have any coversation with her unless it is work related, but she always has something really shitty to say. I don't think that I have ever held my tongue this much in my life. I can't wait until I quit working here; I am going to give that broad such a piece of my mind. That is the only thing that really keeps me motivated. Whoowie, that is going to be great!

I got pizza for lunch today...Papa Murphy's...they prepare it for you and then you take it home and bake it. Good shit... I wish lunch time would hurry and get here...

This weekend was pretty interesting. Hung out Friday night, and craziness ensued. I was just an innocent bystander, but that was deep, man...Saturday I went to a wedding. It was beautful, but it made me realize that I don't want to get married. Maybe I am jaded, but I don't want to have a ceremony as lovely as that one was just for it to go south later down the road. The whole marriage concept is not taken seriously anymore. That piece of paper does not make it harder for a person to cheat. In some instances it is the reason the person does stray. People just don't stay together like they used to. Honestly, I don't want to have any kids, so I don't need to get married. If you are going to be with someone, you are just going to do it. No ceremony, no hoopla, no big deal. Granted, it would be nice to put on a beautiful gown and stand in front of the man you love and tell him that you give yourself to him until the day you die, but how realistic is that?

I am not saying that there is anything worng with marriage. If that is your prerogative, go ahead and do the damn thing. I wish you the best, really. If there are people out there that can make it work, than I commend them. But in this day and age those relationships are few and far between from where I stand...

*sigh* I digress...back to this weekend.

It was pretty cool until late Sunday afternoon. One of my good friends had to be taken to the hospital. We called an ambulance, and we all went over to the hospital. We all stayed for about 3 hours, then they released her and we all went home. That was scary, but she is fine now.

The weather was beautiful. I didn't get to do some of the things I wanted to do, but overall the weekend was nice. I wish I could have gotten in a few more hours of sleep, but if I was sitting in the house all weekend with nothing to do I would have been annoyed, so it is wavy gravy :-)

This weekend should be nice too. 3 days because of labor day weekend...Woo hoo!

Untitled...

There are some things that have happened in the past week that I thought I would be so brokenhearted about, but although they make me sad, I am strangely okay with all that has happened. I see that just because you want something, it will not automatically come to fruition. I tried to do damage control in what was a huge misunderstanding the person did not want to take my explanation. They wanted to keep the misplaced angry feelings they have toward me, and not listen to a word I said. It really bothered me at first because I did not want any misconceptions, but after I looked at the situation, I was like fuck it, I am not going to beat myself up trying to convince someone of something when they don't want to be. It bothers me a great deal, but I will not continue to extend the olive branch when I feel like I haven't done anything wrong.

I will say this one thing. To the person I am talking about ( this time I am speaking to YOU SPECIFICALLY and NO ONE else), I am not going to call you, I always do that shit no matter who is at fault. I am not going to apologize for the things that I said. I meant them then and I mean them now. YOU chose to make it about you. NOT MY FAULT. All that aside, I love you. Always will, no matter what - more than half my life has you in it. If one day you decide you would like to call me or meet over some drinks and talk about it, I would be more than happy to. There are a lot of things that need to be said.

Anyway, it looks like things are changing for the better. I have some irons in the fire and things are beginning to look up. My bank account shouldn't be laughing at me for too much longer...LOL

My hair is copper colored now...It is pretty darn cute...now if I could just find a nice man accessory to go with it...

PEACE OUT

Fog...

Someone told me that when you go through something that is emotionally taxing with someone, and after it is said and done, if the other person still wants to go through life with you, then that means they are in love with you, and that is supposed to be the difference in loving someone and being in love....Hmmm....

Yellow Roses

Someone bought me the cutest miniature yellow roses today, to apologize for a misunderstanding. Sweetest thing to happen to me in a while, because it was so unexpected. Made my day, along with the nice lunch provided by one of the super cool guys here at work. Today went by fast, and now I am ready to go out and do some grown and sexy stuff this weekend. Did I mention that it was day 5? Yeah buddy! It was touch and go for a moment ( I was really close to tapping out - it was rough...), and I might even lose all my willpower if I have alcohol tonight, but I think I will be ok. I am trying hard man...

In other asia news... my cuzzo and one of my guy pals who I hope will be a really good guy pal (in the most platonic way of course), will be out and about tonight, and tomorrow I am going to get my hair layered. It hangs to about the middle of my back, and I have been wearing it pretty much the same style since high school...It is time for a change...

Anywho, it is almost quittin time...PEACE OUT!

Let the sunshine in :-)

Day 4...Whoowie, I am the bomb! Can't wait till I get to a whole week...that'll be good shit...LOL


Today was about as dull as a day can get, and I am more than thankful. I need things to quiet down a bit, and today was a nice reprieve. The sun is out...it's beautiful. A Jamba Juice smoothie and the day can't get much better. I need to go to the gym, but everytime I think about going, I get tired...But I will keep paying for this membership, because I WILL go...just not today...cuz see, uh, Craig an nem...( insert bullshit excuse here)...

I just remembered one of the dumbest things someone has ever said to me...

Asiamajor : "So why don't you eat breakfast?"
Said Dude : "I can't eat breakfast on an empty stomach"

I don't know why that popped into my mind, but it was and still is a WTF??? moment to me...LOL

Muchos Nachos...

Whew...

I made it through another day. It is so hard when you really care for someone, but you know that the best thing to do for yourself is to take a step back. I am not going to lie...this is driving me crazy...I miss my R.M.P. ... Although this is only day three, I am proud of myself.

I am reading the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene...very informative. Some have said this book is on some Pinky and The Brain take - over - the - world type vibe, but it doesn't read that way at all to me. Actually it is helping me with the aforementioned subject of said dude. There are things about myself that I would like to be different. For instance, I am way too nice( but not gulilble) in certain situations ( read: relationships), and I let a lot of things go for sake of keeping the peace. I used to think that if you just play it cool, then a person would just naturally see their transgressions, and no longer do the shitty things they do. Or if you think that if you talk to them like they have some sense, and offer compromise, they will do the right thing. NOPE. In fact the more you compromise the more you realize that you are the one that is bending and they are still the same person doing the same bullshit, they are just wearing new clothes. In retrospect, I can see that is where I went wrong. This does not go for all relationships I have with men, just the ones I actually fall for. Any other time I can tell someone to kick rocks with ease, but when you meet someone who so closely resembles your idea of perfect, you tend to let some things go, because of the potential that the relationship has to be more than what it is.

(Note to any male that is reading this. Making good on NONE of your promises is not the way to keep someone around. As a matter of fact, don't promise me anything, just do what the hell it is YOU say YOU are going to do. I could go on, but I am having a good day...)

But anywho, I digress...

48 Laws of Power. Good read. As with any book you should not follow its teachings to the letter. However you can apply certain laws, and rules to your life as they fit. Or you can just read the book to get a better understanding of the nature of others, and tips on how to interact with others to gain respect, or have someone bend to your will while thinking what they are doing is of their own volition * grinning devilishly*...

Pinky : "What are we going to do today Brain?"
Brain: "The same thing we do everyday Pinky...Try to take over the world..."

I know you like to think your s*** don't stank...

I am confused. Wondering where people get off thinking that because they have an opinion of what they think your life should be , they give unsolicited "advice" when they have absolutely no credentials whatsoever to make those suggestions. I am especially peeved, because certain individuals can focus on someone for that persons' indiscretions, mistakes, etc., but when their own shortcomings are introduced, they go above and beyond what is necessary to justify and "spin" the situation..."Well my situation is different because ( insert bullshit excuse here)."

I have realized that I need to make some changes in how I interact with certain people and that makes me sad, because I never anticipated having to change the nature of those relationships. It is funny how people change, and funny how some don't . I have seen my group of close family/friends go from large to small over the years, and it is crazy to me how people that you once considered true blue homies evolve into less than acquaintances...Does that mean that the bond was not really that strong in the first place? I wonder all of the time if some relationships are worth holding on to...What makes a relationship worth salvaging? Is it knowing that there is a POTENTIAL for greatness, because of happy times that are quickly becoming smaller in the rearview?

One Cool Dude..

My Uncle Russell died on August 8th. One of the best people you would ever want to meet. Never judgemental or concerned with whatever material possesions you had. He was just happy to be an uncle to all of us, and you could bet money that he would have the biggest smile every time he saw you and that it was completely genuine. An all around good guy...one of the best...Heaven is definitely a better place now...R.I.P

Hello...

Hey..finally my own blog...woo hoo...

I am sure that no one will read this unless I tell them about it , so in that respect, this is kind of cool. I don't really know what I will post here, but that's the fun part...

Anywho...

What does verbal dyslexia mean? Well, I am glad you asked.

Basically it means that I can't hear worth a damn. And what it is that I THINK I am hearing bears no similarity whatsoever to what was actually said. And for some reason what I think is being said usually has some sort of sexual connotation...anyone's guess where that stems from :-)

Anywho again...I am out of here for now...peace out :-)